Pasta Deliziosa.

Technically, I believe he's only 1/16 Italian.


Try telling him that.

Truth.

These challenges from my Bible Study have hit me right between the eyes:

1) "Patience is the acknowledgment that it really isn't all about me."

2) "An impatient person, however doctrinally sound, is not Christ-like."

Ephesians 4:2- Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

Eleven.

Ben,

I'm about a week late posting this, but you keep me pretty busy these days! You are now officially eleven months old. Here are a few developmental details that probably wouldn't interest anyone else, but since I'm your mama I'm filing them away...



Talking- You have so much to say to us, but we still haven't officially "counted" anything as your first word. You make all the "ma ma" and "da da" and "ba ba" sounds, and sometimes you just go on and on and on, but don't seem to really specifically assign them to anything, yet. According to what I've read, that doesn't happen until closer to the end of the twelfth month, so you're right on track.

Walking- You are cruising around the house, pulling up on everything and walking with some assistance. Most notably, you are walking just like a Bergeron with your feet pointed out at the funniest angles. Oh, son... I don't know that there was any avoiding this gene. We just giggle as you push your walker across the living room. Your legs don't seem to bend or move at all, you just swivel at the waist, and you're so proud to do it.

Sleeping- You are finally sleeping really, really well. After ten months of parental anguish, you started sleeping 13 hours at night. Just like that. And you nap anywhere from 2-3 hours a day. I think that's a lot of sleep for a baby your age, but Grandma pointed out that while you're awake you never stop moving. Like, ever. There is no sitting still. Even when you sit in your highchair to eat, you kick your legs and wave your arms the entire time. This would certainly explain all the sleeping. I won't complain.

Eating- You are eating us out of house and home, buddy! I can't BELIEVE how much food you eat. Each meal is like an event. You eat pretty much what we do. You had your first encounter with pizza this month and it was love at first taste! Spaghetti is a favorite, too, so maybe you can be my date to Italian restaurants in the future since Italian isn't one of Daddy's favorites.



Reading- You love to read books. I think you enjoy the mechanics of turning the pages more than the pictures, but we are just thrilled you seem so interested. Lift-the-flap books are your favorite, and you amaze us by always going straight for the flap, even when it is "hidden" on the page. Pretty smart, little guy!



Playing- You love unloading laundry baskets (and garbage cans). You take each item out, one at a time, and throw them over your shoulder without a second thought as you reach for the next item. Every day you are more of a little boy. I went to peek at you last night while you were sleeping and I was struck by how long you seemed in your crib. You are less fragile. You are more rough and tumble (all boy) and you've learned how to "fall" pretty well. You just roll and you're up and on to the next thing.



Blessings- This has been a good month. You finally kicked the nasty nose goop that had you down for most of January and February. Your Nana came up from Houston to visit you, and Great-Grandma Palagi has been here to visit, as well. Daddy received a promotion, we bought a new (to us) car. You got your first haircut, too. God has been faithful to us, as He always is, and we thank Him for each blessing.



Overall, you are so good and so happy. You always surprise us by adapting really well to new experiences. This month we had to make a few trips to Baylor in Dallas because Grandma had follow-up appointments after her surgery. One trip involved about 45 minutes in the car, almost three hours of waiting during her appointment, and then another commute home. You were perfect. No fussing in the car either direction. While we were at the hospital, I pushed you around in your stroller and you smiled and delighted some of the other oncology patients in the waiting room. You were tired and off your schedule, but you were a dream, and you made helping grandma so, so easy. I am proud of you, buddy.

We started teaching a four-year-old Sunday school class, so you are now in the nursery all morning on Sundays. It is hard for us to be away from you all morning, but I peek in on you between services and you are always happily playing with all your friends, enjoying the toys that are different from what we have at home. When we come to pick you up, you are standing at the gate at the door waiting for us. Too cute.

That smile lights up a room and lights up our world. In just three weeks, we'll all eat cake and celebrate a year together!

Quick Trip.

Ben,

We made a very quick trip to Houston this weekend because Nana and Papsy were itching to snuggle you and we just had to see your little cousin Lyla again. She is growing so fast.

Before you were born, the four hour road trip was no big deal at all. Now we make sure our bellies and the gas tank are full and our bladders are empty before we hit the road. We've tried to eliminate stops all together since stopping the car always seems to wake you up. There's a darn stoplight in Waco that gets us every time. Sure enough, you slept until the stoplight in Waco and were awake for the last three hours of our trip.

We pulled in to Nana and Papsy's house at 10:00 Thursday night and you were so excited to get out of that car! I put you in your pajamas before we left home, hoping when we arrived in Houston I could just transfer you to a pack-n-play. What was I thinking? Of course Nana and Papsy couldn't keep their hands off of you, and you smiled and giggled and got all wound up and wired. Trying to get you to settle down and go to bed at 11:30pm in a "strange" house almost did me in.



Friday morning you enjoyed breakfast with Daddy and Papsy. Nothing like biscuits and cantaloupe with the guys, huh?



Nana is a true Southerner, and her home and hospitality reflect it. The house is always clean and cozy, and the food is always delicious. The pace is relaxed and there is lots of kicking back and chatting and just enjoying each other. We love visiting.

Friday's weather was incredible so Nana and Papsy took us to The Houston Zoo. That zoo is so much more beautiful than I'd remembered! There is tons to see and do, and best of all, it is wonderfully shaded. I suppose they need to capitalize on the shade if they want any visitors during the Houston summers, but I really was so impressed by all of the majestic oaks and lush greenery.



First stop was the sea lion show. You were mildly interested.



I can't remember exactly what you were looking at here (a turkey?) but it was so funny to see which of the animals you spotted and checked out, and which ones you were completely oblivious to.





The elephants were so cute, and so close! I like this picture because it really captures how we all enjoyed the animals while Nana looked at her map and found our next route. She is a good planner!



Those otters were fast, but you were captivated.



Lunch was a highlight for you, as it is pretty much every day. You ate almost all of the egg off Daddy's sandwich, most of the roast beef off mine, half a piece of pizza, and two pieces of crust. Notice how you are sitting in this picture? You wiggled out of the seat and scooted around so you'd have a better view of everyone else while you ate. Sheesh.



Blake, Drew, and Lexie came to the zoo, too. You had a great time playing with all of your cousins, but especially Blake. Blake wears hats, and you love hats.



After almost five hours at the zoo, we were pretty pooped.



After the zoo, we all went back to Nana and Papsy's house to meet up with the rest of the family and have a barbecue. So good to spend time with all of your aunts, uncles, and cousins.



You and Lyla are just seven months apart, and we think you'll have a great time together as you grow.



You're still a little young to enjoy each other. This picture makes me laugh.



After a long, eventful day, Nana and Faith Anne got you and Lexie all cleaned up. You slept great Friday night!



We planned to leave Saturday afternoon, but Nana insisted we visit my happy place before we left town. I love your Nana for that. And I love Connie's.



Life will never be the same for you again, little buddy!





You were a total champ in the car on the way home, and we enjoyed the peaceful drive through all the beautiful wildflowers. We were back by 6:30 Saturday night so we could teach Sunday School the next morning. It was a quick trip, for sure, but full of family and fun. We are blessed to have people we love all over Texas!

Doctor's Orders.

This is how I find Ben waiting for me each morning and after his naps.



We only own three pacifiers, and that's probably a good thing. Ben sleeps with one in his mouth and one in each hand, and I'm not sure what he'd do with a fourth if we had it. Maybe he worries they'll disappear while he sleeps?

The pacifiers drive me a little nuts, so I try to stick to an "only in the crib" policy.

One of the parenting books I read suggested taking pacifiers away from babies when they are four months old. The author listed a myriad of reasons that sounded pretty solid to me: speech development, orthodontic consequences, increasing attachment which leads to more difficult weaning later, etc. I asked our pediatrician about it and this is exactly what he said to me.

"You don't need to take that pacifier away from him yet. Adults have booze and sporting events. Let the kid have his thing."

Done.

"Just wait..."

I just LOVE this perspective on parenting.

Deep in the Heart of Texas.

It's spring in the South, y'all! Taking pictures in the bluebonnets is a rite of passage for little cowboys in Texas. Families pull over all along the highways and children run through waving blue fields while parents give chase with cameras snapping away. It's a must. Like sweet tea and well-worn boots.

Let me take a minute to say that if you live in the Arlington/Fort Worth area, you must contact Anthony Palagi in the next week (while the flowers are peaking!) to schedule a shoot with your kids. Seriously. Anthony's pricing is great and you will get some really unbelievable, priceless images.

Need proof? Check out these shots Anthony took of Ben today. I am just dying trying to decide which one(s) to print and frame.




Look at those teeth!

Nothing like a little wind in your hair, huh?

Sweet enough to make your teeth hurt!

Oh, that chin!


I literally have dozens and dozens of shots to choose from. Thank you, Anthony, for some perfect pictures this Texas Mama will treasure forever!

He's Mine.

Ben is (quite obviously) Tim's son. Dr. Evil and Mini-me have nothing on these two. Ben has Tim's eyes, Tim's ears, Tim's build, Tim's smile, Tim's chin, and he's even beginning to walk like Tim. Anyone who knows Tim and sees Ben just says, "Waaaaaaahhw." I nod in agreement. There is no denying that Ben is Tim's.

None of this bothers me (because Ben is pretty dang cute), but I do relish seeing little bits of myself in him. Every once in a while it's nice to think, "Yes, this child I spent 22 hours delivering does have a little of me in there."

Here are a few similarities I've noticed we share:

1. We both love books





2. Neither of us likes going to the doctor



3. We both greet the day in a similar fashion



4. We both have dimples in our cheeks



5. We both like to lay around the house in our pajamas



6. We both like sleeping with Tim



7. We both like apple pie
8. We both like steak



9. We both like sweet potatoes
10. We both like burritos
11. We both like avocado
12. We both like blueberries
13. We both like ice cream
14. We both like pancakes
15. We both like tortilla chips



See? The similarities are virtually endless.

Rule Following vs. God Following

I've read this post by Lysa TerKeurst a few times after seeing it all over Pinterest. The post keeps getting re-pinned with the comment, "I don't want to raise good kids." Mmmmmm? I'm intrigued. I clicked on the link eagarly. I find myself hungry for any nugget of parenting wisdom these days.

Lysa recalls the horror she felt when her young daughter, Hope, slipped away from her and ended up frolicking in the fountain at the mall. Ugh. I can't even imagine. My days of public humiliation at the hands of a child have just begun. Lysa cried all the way home. Hope seemed so "determined, independent, and insistent." As Hope has grown, Lysa has seen God use those traits to make Hope into a God-following young adult.

The conclusion of the post is, "Maybe God’s goal wasn’t for me to raise a good rule following child. God’s goal was for me to raise a God-following adult. An adult just determined and independent and insistent enough to fulfill a purpose He had in mind all along."

I've thought a lot about this since first reading it several weeks ago. Ben is just now really starting to assert his independence. We are still in the outskirts of The Land of Tantrums. I find myself wondering exactly how much of our instruction he understands, how much correction will "stick," and whether or not we should just let certain things go.

Already, at eleven months old, Ben is exhibiting some strong shades of "determined, independent, and insistent." Like Lysa, I acknowledge that God can use those personality traits throughout childhood and adulthood to accomplish His purposes. Still, "determined, independent, and insistent" can be incredible strengths, or, left unchecked, great sources of vulnerability.

The conclusion I've come to is that I really do desire to raise a "good, rule-following" child. Certainly not so I can tout my mad parenting skills, but because "goodness" and "self-control" are, after all, fruit of the Spirit.

God-following is all about obedience. I believe one of the best things I can do for Ben is foster a heart of obedience in my boy. If a "good" child is an "obedient" child, then I think that's important.

I'll make certain demands of Ben because I know what's best for him, and he will benefit from being a "good rule-follower" and obeying. When Ben is grown, God will ask things of him that might not be easy. Those requests might conflict with that "determined, independent, insistent" spirit of his, but I want what's best for Ben, and that's a heart of obedience. Ben will benefit from yielding his independence to a higher authority, and that begins now.

Lysa acknowledges that we, as parents, can't take too much credit for our children's actions, good or bad. I'm thinking there is a delicate balance between "credit" and "responsibility." Working in youth ministry, I've seen some of the best, loving, diligent parents deal with rebellious kids, and some pretty amazing teenagers come from parents who don't seem too invested.

Ultimately, every good thing in our lives is a result of the grace of God. I'll thank God for the good things I see in Ben, and ask God to give me wisdom to help correct the "bad." And, as far as the "good, rule-following child" and the "God-following adult," I'll keep praying for both.

Somehow...

I made this today: (You can get one here. I figured, "Why not?")



This little guy will wear it in just a few weeks.



How is that possible? As inexplicable as it seems to me, the calendar doesn't lie.



Gracious, he is getting so big. Every day he is less a baby and more a boy. Instead of being sad, I am trying really, really hard to soak it in and just be thankful.

Information Overload.

Miraculously, I made it through twenty seven years of life without giving a lot of thought to the toxins and pesticides in the food I eat or the shots I receive from my doctor. I say "miraculously," because there is A. LOT. of information out there.

Ben was only a few days old when a friend asked, "You're not going to have him immunized, are you???" Um??? She suggested I google "poison in immunizations" before deciding.

I was already unimaginably sleep deprived and emotionally exhausted. Ben was jaundiced and he wasn't latching properly and the immunization issue sent me into a full-on tailspin.

I was completely unprepared for the barrage of conflicting information I would receive from various (seemingly credible) sources, and I felt paralyzed by indecision. I could barely find time to shower or feed myself, but I spent every "spare" second googling and reading and calling friends and making lists of questions for our pediatrician. I remember sitting on the couch with Tim the night before I was to take Ben to get his first shots, crying, "What should we dooooooo?"

Parenting is a ginormous responsibility, so it's no wonder Moms arm themselves with so much information and seem to be firmly camped on one side of the fence or the other. Just like natural-birthing, sleep-training, and home-schooling, most Moms have done their research, made their case, and will tell you all about it. It is intense, and while I've come to really, really, really hate the whole "Mommy Wars" phenomenon, I respect that everyone wants to do the best they can for their children.

Yesterday, my blog-surfing lead me to information about the poison on the strawberries I eat every morning, the jet fuel coating the almonds I snack on, and the arsenic in the chicken we're eating for dinner.

I felt so defeated. And overwhelmed. I'm trying to make healthy choices for our family. Surely, strawberries and raw almonds and chicken are better than doritios and french fries, but apparently still not good enough! It seems that I could spend hours reading and researching, clean out our pantry, begin shopping at different stores, adjust our budget to allow for more organic groceries, and still unknowingly poison my family. Should I start researching the price of farmland? Growing our own produce and slaughtering our own animals seems like the only way to guarantee that the food we're eating isn't slowly killing us.

It was only after chewing off all my fingernails and pulling out a decent clump of hair that the sovereignty of God occurred to me. As tempting as it is to take the "ignorance is bliss" approach to what we consume, the Bible clearly tells me that my body is not my own and I am charged with taking care of it. Still, I can't worry about it, and shouldn't worry about anything, for that matter. So, I will ask God to help me strike a healthy balance. I will cast anxiety aside. I will do what I know to do and rest in the knowledge that God is sovereign.

Each day we pray and ask God to protect our family, to keep us healthy and make us strong. We thank Him for the food He gives us and ask Him to bless our meals before we eat them. We believe that He has numbered all of our days, and there isn't anything that comes into our lives (sickness included) that He doesn't allow. We ask God for wisdom and guidance in all things, and trust Him to lead us in making the best decisions for our family in all areas. And then we make brownies.