Maternity Shoot.

Last weekend Ainsley took some fantastic maternity pictures for us.  Dear, sweet Ainsley. I was feeling huge (can someone please explain to me how pants made out of elastic can be tight?) and reluctant to document these 35 weeks of glorious gestation for all posterity. I was ill-prepared for the shoot.  I waddled in begrudgingly while wiping yogurt off Ben's pants (oops!) right before we started.

I'm thankful Ainsley insisted, and I love how she captured this time of anticipation for our little family.  Despite my half-hearted participation and Ben's refusal to please.sit.still, Ainsley snapped off over 350 shots and ended up giving me about 60 really great images.

 

Here are a few of my favorites...



Ben is quick to point to my belly and say, "Baby!  Coming!"

Probably my favorite picture from the day!  Love those handsome boys.

 

Already such a sweet big brother.

 

 

Going to have to frame this one for the nursery!

Thanks so much, Ainsley!  We can't wait to meet Baby G in four weeks!

21 months

Just so I don't forget...

Ben, you are officially 21 months old and you are talking up a storm!  Your vocabulary seems to have tripled in just the last few weeks.  You just started making the "ck" sound and you overenunciate it ever time.

"Mukkkk!"  (Milk).

"Bukkkk!"  (Book).

"Ruckkk!" (Rock).

"Zoose!" (Juice- but only at Gramma's house).

"Hawnkkk!" (Honk) 

"Meeeeyn!"  (While pointing to head- the man with the yellow hat)

"Uh oh!"

You love to sing, too.  We sing, "Who built the ark?"  and you (quietly and totally off-key) respond "Nonah, Nonah..."  It is just the cutest thing ever, so we do it all the time.

 

"Yeah!" is your answer to everything, and it totally cracks us up!  You sweetly and enthusiastically agree to any question we pose, and it is totally endearing to us (and your Sunday School teachers!).

You are sleeping from 7pm until about 8am, and still taking two naps a day on the days our schedule will allow it.  I acknowledge that this is pretty fantastic, but you sorta owed it to us after the first several months of your life.

 

Your favorite things include your Curious George book (we could literally spend a couple of hours each day looking through all the pictures), your train table, Sesame Street, dancing (everyone else around you must dance, too) and pouring water from container to container during bath time.

You are sweet and happy- such an agreeable, fun little buddy.  Hands down, this is my favorite age so far (but then, I always say that, don't I?). Maybe it's because you just keep getting better!

Counted

Sweet Baby Number Two,

Today was your due date.  I sit down to write this, 23 weeks pregnant with your little brother, and it is impossible to imagine how different life would be if we were meeting you today, the way we'd hoped.  We'll have to wait a while longer, and that's okay.

You've been gone six months now, but we think of you often.  As my belly grows, well-meaning strangers smile at Ben and notice my little bump and ask, "Is this your second?"  My heart cringes a little every time.  The question is simple and innocent but the answer seems much more complicated.

In that split second, I grope for a reasonable answer.  Mentioning you always solicits sympathy (which is never my intention) and probably makes people a bit uncomfortable, but my heart still wants to acknowledge you.  As your mother, omitting your existence- even if it was only for a few weeks- feels like an betrayal.  I love you as much as the baby before you and the one coming next, and you are just as much a part of our story and our family.  Maybe I'll eventually figure out how to gracefully answer the question in a way that makes everyone feel comfortable, but six months later, I'm still not there.

Your life, however short, mattered.  You were part of God's plan.  You will always count.  You will always be my second baby- never in my arms, but always in my heart.

Today I will bake an angel food cake and we will celebrate the way God used your brief little life to change ours.  We will thank Him for the blessing of you, and look forward to meeting you one day.

Lots of love,

Mommy