Information Overload.

Miraculously, I made it through twenty seven years of life without giving a lot of thought to the toxins and pesticides in the food I eat or the shots I receive from my doctor. I say "miraculously," because there is A. LOT. of information out there.

Ben was only a few days old when a friend asked, "You're not going to have him immunized, are you???" Um??? She suggested I google "poison in immunizations" before deciding.

I was already unimaginably sleep deprived and emotionally exhausted. Ben was jaundiced and he wasn't latching properly and the immunization issue sent me into a full-on tailspin.

I was completely unprepared for the barrage of conflicting information I would receive from various (seemingly credible) sources, and I felt paralyzed by indecision. I could barely find time to shower or feed myself, but I spent every "spare" second googling and reading and calling friends and making lists of questions for our pediatrician. I remember sitting on the couch with Tim the night before I was to take Ben to get his first shots, crying, "What should we dooooooo?"

Parenting is a ginormous responsibility, so it's no wonder Moms arm themselves with so much information and seem to be firmly camped on one side of the fence or the other. Just like natural-birthing, sleep-training, and home-schooling, most Moms have done their research, made their case, and will tell you all about it. It is intense, and while I've come to really, really, really hate the whole "Mommy Wars" phenomenon, I respect that everyone wants to do the best they can for their children.

Yesterday, my blog-surfing lead me to information about the poison on the strawberries I eat every morning, the jet fuel coating the almonds I snack on, and the arsenic in the chicken we're eating for dinner.

I felt so defeated. And overwhelmed. I'm trying to make healthy choices for our family. Surely, strawberries and raw almonds and chicken are better than doritios and french fries, but apparently still not good enough! It seems that I could spend hours reading and researching, clean out our pantry, begin shopping at different stores, adjust our budget to allow for more organic groceries, and still unknowingly poison my family. Should I start researching the price of farmland? Growing our own produce and slaughtering our own animals seems like the only way to guarantee that the food we're eating isn't slowly killing us.

It was only after chewing off all my fingernails and pulling out a decent clump of hair that the sovereignty of God occurred to me. As tempting as it is to take the "ignorance is bliss" approach to what we consume, the Bible clearly tells me that my body is not my own and I am charged with taking care of it. Still, I can't worry about it, and shouldn't worry about anything, for that matter. So, I will ask God to help me strike a healthy balance. I will cast anxiety aside. I will do what I know to do and rest in the knowledge that God is sovereign.

Each day we pray and ask God to protect our family, to keep us healthy and make us strong. We thank Him for the food He gives us and ask Him to bless our meals before we eat them. We believe that He has numbered all of our days, and there isn't anything that comes into our lives (sickness included) that He doesn't allow. We ask God for wisdom and guidance in all things, and trust Him to lead us in making the best decisions for our family in all areas. And then we make brownies.