One

"When I was One, I had just begun..."
- A.A. Milne

Today you are one, my precious boy.

You were born at 12:12am last year, so I snuck into your nursery at midnight last night, gently lifted you from your crib, and snuggled you in your rocker. I watched the clock on the wall and let all those memories of one year ago come flooding back. I sang to you softly...

Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday dear Benjamin
Happy Birthday to you.

That song is one of my favorite memories of our first hours together. After all the hustle and bustle of labor and delivery was behind us and everyone had left us alone (even Daddy... where did he go, now that I think of it?) we lay together in the dark. You were curled up on my chest and I remember smelling the top of your fuzzy little head and singing "Happy Birthday" to you softly as you slept. Right then I decided that we would sing together every year.

Has it already been a year? And has it only been a year?

It seems that you've always been here, but no... Somehow I managed to live 26 years without you and within seconds of meeting you, realized I could never live without you again.



We've come a long way, baby. Those early nights and days and weeks all ran together as we camped out on the couch and lived life in three hour intervals, exhausted and adjusting to our new adventure together. Those days seem like just weeks ago, and now you walk and talk and laugh, and life is somehow much more wonderful. But really? A year?

Just because I can't account for each day doesn't mean I haven't appreciated every single one of them. I have. I pause every day and take you in. I pinch your doughy little thighs. I memorize the curve of that shiny, gummy smile and the bright light in your eyes. I tousle your silky, wild hair. I take pictures of everything. I count all the blessings that have come with you. I soak it in. I acknowledge that it's fleeting, and I appreciate it.

We have embraced the evidence of you in our lives- our sticky, cluttered floors, broken sleep, empty wallet, and deepened faith. Somehow, we have grown more than you have this year. You have made our lives better in ever single way.

The best is yet to come, little buddy. I just know it.