The "Happy Birthday" That Wasn't.

Ben caught some kind of nasty junk several days before his birthday, but a trip to the doctor resulted in a diagnosis of a double ear infection, a prescription for an antibiotic, and a promise that Ben would be feeling "much better" by his birthday and "back to one hundred percent" by his party a few days later.

We started the antibiotic and didn't see much progress. Ben's temperature were spiking to 104 degrees overnight and we did cool baths at 2am several nights in a row. It was scary. And miserable. Then I got sick, too.

By the time Ben woke up at 10am on his big day (proof that he really must not have been feeling well), I had already been to the doctor, been diagnosed with a sinus infection, pink eye (what the...?) and sent away with two more prescriptions. When we heard Ben rouse, I went in to his room to greet him and take a picture of his first morning as a one-year-old. This is what I got.

Sad baby. We calmed him down and attempted to proceed with a few festivities. I had planned to make him pancakes with sprinkles for breakfast, but I just couldn't muster the energy since I figured he wouldn't eat them anyway. He hadn't really eaten much of anything in about three days, so I made a game-time decision to simply make his bananas a little more festive.

He didn't even eat one bite.

Tim blew some bubbles to distract him and cheer him a bit. It was sweet, but it didn't work.

We got Ben dressed and thought maybe opening a few gifts would lift his spirits. He generally loves ripping paper and playing with boxes. This is pretty much how that turned out:

And so it went. Ben ended up sleeping most of the day, which is probably exactly what he needed. I think he was awake for a grand total of four hours of his entire birthday.

Grandmpa, Grandpa, and Uncle Anthony came over that evening to give Ben some birthday kisses and open a few more presents. He perked up a bit when they walked in, and did a little better opening gifts the second time around.

We were even able to skype with Great-Grandma and Grandpa in Montana so they could sing Happy Birthday to Ben.

We did get a few smiles out of him.

After opening gifts and taking a bath, Ben went to bed early. I know this is a birthday he will never remember. I know he doesn't "get it." But I know it's a special day, and I wanted it to be fun for him. It wasn't, really. Our family and friends were so kind and gracious. I got phone calls and messages all day long letting me know people were thinking of Ben and celebrating him, and that was the best part of the day.

We went to bed that evening praying that those antibiotics would kick-in on overdrive and Ben would feel better for his party two days later. But that's a story for another day...

Friday Favorites

Both of these videos make me laugh. They are unrelated. Obviously.

Woe is Me.

It's been a rough week. I'm not ready to talk about it yet. Last night I was deep in the throes of hosting my own pity party, but tonight I'm feeling a little better. Just don't show me pictures of your one-year-old smiling and delightfully opening gifts at their first birthday party and I won't start crying.

Alas, Ben Rector always cheers me. Maybe this catchy little ditty will get stuck in your head, too.

One

"When I was One, I had just begun..."
- A.A. Milne

Today you are one, my precious boy.

You were born at 12:12am last year, so I snuck into your nursery at midnight last night, gently lifted you from your crib, and snuggled you in your rocker. I watched the clock on the wall and let all those memories of one year ago come flooding back. I sang to you softly...

Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday dear Benjamin
Happy Birthday to you.

That song is one of my favorite memories of our first hours together. After all the hustle and bustle of labor and delivery was behind us and everyone had left us alone (even Daddy... where did he go, now that I think of it?) we lay together in the dark. You were curled up on my chest and I remember smelling the top of your fuzzy little head and singing "Happy Birthday" to you softly as you slept. Right then I decided that we would sing together every year.

Has it already been a year? And has it only been a year?

It seems that you've always been here, but no... Somehow I managed to live 26 years without you and within seconds of meeting you, realized I could never live without you again.



We've come a long way, baby. Those early nights and days and weeks all ran together as we camped out on the couch and lived life in three hour intervals, exhausted and adjusting to our new adventure together. Those days seem like just weeks ago, and now you walk and talk and laugh, and life is somehow much more wonderful. But really? A year?

Just because I can't account for each day doesn't mean I haven't appreciated every single one of them. I have. I pause every day and take you in. I pinch your doughy little thighs. I memorize the curve of that shiny, gummy smile and the bright light in your eyes. I tousle your silky, wild hair. I take pictures of everything. I count all the blessings that have come with you. I soak it in. I acknowledge that it's fleeting, and I appreciate it.

We have embraced the evidence of you in our lives- our sticky, cluttered floors, broken sleep, empty wallet, and deepened faith. Somehow, we have grown more than you have this year. You have made our lives better in ever single way.

The best is yet to come, little buddy. I just know it.

Imagine If...

Once upon a time, a lady named Reagan and her son, Ken, went to the grocery store. While perusing the dairy aisle, another kind shopper stopped to smile at Ken and compliment his big, blue eyes.

"What a cutie!" the shopper remarked. "You have a good looking boy. How old is he?"

"He will be one a week from today." Reagan answered, smiling back. Then, right there next to the cottage cheese, Reagan started crying.

Confused and surprised by her own tears, Reagan mumbled something about Ken being her first child and how quickly he seemed to be growing. The shopper smiled and nodded knowingly, and the shopper's sympathetic agreement only seemed to exacerbate Reagan's emotion.

Reagan bit her lip and moved on to the snack aisle, befuddled by the unexpected episode.

The end.

What a silly story! Imagine if that were true.

Fail.

I am the mother of a toddler and I put on white pants this morning. Further proof that I should not be trusted to make independent decisions.

Water Babies.

Ben,

We bought you a little $11 kiddie pool for the backyard and you are in love.



Although there's nothing cuter than your little naked derrière, I had to make these images suitable for public consumption. I'd prefer if you're still speaking to me at the age of sixteen, and I'd hate to start racking up strikes against me this early.

But back to the pool. Your favorite activity thus far has been throwing all of your toys out onto the grass and then pulling yourself up on the wet, slippery edge and leaning precariously over to retrieve the stray items.



When I put you in the pool after lunch today, the sun hadn't had quite enough time to warm the water, but you didn't care one bit.

I threw a big Spring Creek cup in the water for you to play with, and you thought it was so fun to fill it with water and drink it. The water had some grass and sunscreen in it, so I said, "Eeeew, yuck, don't drink that! Pleh!" You thought that was the funniest thing you'd ever heard. You laughed and laughed and laughed, which made me laugh. Then you did it again. And again. And again. We must have gone through that same little jig sixty times, and every time you laughed just as hard as the first time I said it.



I am cherishing these simple, rich days with you. I'm thankful I have a front row seat to your development. And you are thankful for your pool.

Good Friday.

"My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!"

Shane & Shane do such a beautiful live, acoustic version of this song.



Speaking of acoustic worship, here's a little more I can't get enough of...



Want to know more about what Jesus has done in my life and why I'm so in love with Him? Message me! I'd love to tell you all about it.

Growing.

"How big is Ben?!? Soooooooooo big!"



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