21 months

Just so I don't forget...

Ben, you are officially 21 months old and you are talking up a storm!  Your vocabulary seems to have tripled in just the last few weeks.  You just started making the "ck" sound and you overenunciate it ever time.

"Mukkkk!"  (Milk).

"Bukkkk!"  (Book).

"Ruckkk!" (Rock).

"Zoose!" (Juice- but only at Gramma's house).

"Hawnkkk!" (Honk) 

"Meeeeyn!"  (While pointing to head- the man with the yellow hat)

"Uh oh!"

You love to sing, too.  We sing, "Who built the ark?"  and you (quietly and totally off-key) respond "Nonah, Nonah..."  It is just the cutest thing ever, so we do it all the time.

 

"Yeah!" is your answer to everything, and it totally cracks us up!  You sweetly and enthusiastically agree to any question we pose, and it is totally endearing to us (and your Sunday School teachers!).

You are sleeping from 7pm until about 8am, and still taking two naps a day on the days our schedule will allow it.  I acknowledge that this is pretty fantastic, but you sorta owed it to us after the first several months of your life.

 

Your favorite things include your Curious George book (we could literally spend a couple of hours each day looking through all the pictures), your train table, Sesame Street, dancing (everyone else around you must dance, too) and pouring water from container to container during bath time.

You are sweet and happy- such an agreeable, fun little buddy.  Hands down, this is my favorite age so far (but then, I always say that, don't I?). Maybe it's because you just keep getting better!

Counted

Sweet Baby Number Two,

Today was your due date.  I sit down to write this, 23 weeks pregnant with your little brother, and it is impossible to imagine how different life would be if we were meeting you today, the way we'd hoped.  We'll have to wait a while longer, and that's okay.

You've been gone six months now, but we think of you often.  As my belly grows, well-meaning strangers smile at Ben and notice my little bump and ask, "Is this your second?"  My heart cringes a little every time.  The question is simple and innocent but the answer seems much more complicated.

In that split second, I grope for a reasonable answer.  Mentioning you always solicits sympathy (which is never my intention) and probably makes people a bit uncomfortable, but my heart still wants to acknowledge you.  As your mother, omitting your existence- even if it was only for a few weeks- feels like an betrayal.  I love you as much as the baby before you and the one coming next, and you are just as much a part of our story and our family.  Maybe I'll eventually figure out how to gracefully answer the question in a way that makes everyone feel comfortable, but six months later, I'm still not there.

Your life, however short, mattered.  You were part of God's plan.  You will always count.  You will always be my second baby- never in my arms, but always in my heart.

Today I will bake an angel food cake and we will celebrate the way God used your brief little life to change ours.  We will thank Him for the blessing of you, and look forward to meeting you one day.

Lots of love,

Mommy

Christmas: Take Two

Since we were in Houston and my parents were in Montana for Christmas, we did Christmas with my family the following weekend. 

Tim spent the evening before our celebration assembling Ben's big surprise from his Great Nana and Papap in Montana- a train table!  My dad stopped by to pick something up and just stood there smiling and nodding in sympathy. "Yep... I've been there..."

Tim was so frustrated, and I heard him mutter some of the funniest things I've ever heard him say (and can't record here!) but I reminded him over and over that this is just one of those fun rites of passage for parents at Christmas time.  In the end, the table looked great!

In our household I am definitely the one who geeks out for Christmas. When I was growing up, my parents made Christmas a huge deal for us and established so many wonderful traditions and memories. I still love Christmas the way I did when I was six.  I pack every single possible bit of Christmas excitement into late October/November/December... and Tim is usually pretty good-natured about going along with it all. 

This year Tim both thrilled and surprised me by really getting into it, too.  After arriving home from Houston, I was pretty tired from all the festivities and travel, and I was willing to keep things low-key. Tim suggested we have Cracker Barrel cater our "Christmas morning " (on the 28th) breakfast.  Yum!  He even went to pick it up at 6:30 that morning (not a work morning, people!).

After assembling the train table, getting the breakfast plans in place, helping me straighten up the house, putting laundry away, and building a fire for the next morning, Tim decided to hang streamers in the hallway for Ben to run through.  I'll admit that I was a little "mixed" on this, as it seemed like more of a birthday deal than a Christmas deal, but all he asked was for me to direct him to where we keep the streamers, so I kept my mouth shut.

As we were getting in bed that night, I asked Tim about his apparent surge of Christmas spirit.  "You just seem so into it all of a sudden."  His response was so sweet:  "I really wants to create fun memories for Ben so that he loves Christmas as much as you do."  What a guy!

The next morning, Tim was proven right on the streamer idea.  Ben was so excited to run through them on his way out to the living room! 

Maybe a new tradition???

He was equally thrilled to see his Gramma and Grampa, who had been in Montana all week.

Isn't my mom just beautiful?

All gathered around our Christmas morning feast from Cracker Barrel. (Delicious and no dishes to wash!)

After eating, we did the big train table reveal.

Huge....

... huge ...

... huge hit.  Good job, Nana and Papap Kubick!

Ben was so taken with his train table that he was pretty oblivious to all the other gifts in the room.  We just relaxed and drank our coffee and watched him play for quite a while.  Eventually, Tim donned his Santa hat and distributed the rest of the packages.  Love that husband of mine.

Notice the new toothbrush (still in the left hand) as he checks out his new flashlight.

Maybe the only little boy I know who is so excited to receive clothes that he can't wait to put them on.

We had such a great morning celebrating together, although we really missed my brother, who was in St. John for work.  It felt strange not to have him there with us, and we can't wait to have him home in February.

Despite the fact that my brother was gone (sorry, Anthony!), this Christmas really was the best one yet.  Watching Ben's wonder and excitement over everything was so sweet.  I relished all the time we got to spend together with Tim off work. Our celebrations were spread out and lasted longer than usual as we got to see all of our family.  More than anything, having two sons has really personalized the enormity of God's precious gift of sending His own son to us. 

We have so many reasons to rejoice and give thanks.

I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas.

When we arrived home from Houston on Christmas evening, we were greeted with SNOW!!! (And ice on the roads.  Boo.)  It was too late, dark, and cold to go out and play that night, but first thing the next morning...

Ben has seen a decent amount of snow in his short little life, considering that we live in Texas.

We weren't exactly properly outfitted for the snow.  Ben's mittens and pants weren't exactly waterproof (and he already had a pretty runny nose), so we we limited our frolicking to just a few minutes out in the powder.  Still, we ended up with a white Christmas after all!  What a fun memory.

Christmas: Take One

This year was our year to spend Christmas in Houston with Tim's side of the family.  We crammed lots of fun (and people) into our four-day visit!

Ben spent a lot of time reading with his Nana (who is a great story teller/reader).

Fun playing with cousin Lyla!

Nana and Papsy had all kinds of fun spoons and pots and bowls to play with, and Nana's spice rack is just about two feet off the floor in the pantry.  The combination kept Ben occupied for a substantial amount of time.

Ben gave Nana and Papsy an ornament he made just for them, then helped Papsy put it way up high on the tree.

Fun helping Papsy mow the yard on Christmas Eve.

Christmas morning was quiet- just us and Tim's parents.  We opened just a few gifts and emptied our stockings and enjoyed a yummy quiche that Tim's mom made.

The first thing Ben saw when he came out on Christmas morning was a cool new chair from Nana and Papsy, and it was love at first sight!

The m&m's in the stocking were a huge hit, too.

Ben was WAY excited about his new Grover shoes. (He's almost grown out of his Ernie shoes, so these came just in time!)

Trying on the new kicks while holding his new Super Grover 2.0.

 Our second (and last!) Christmas as a family of three!

After breakfast and showers, we got ready for the rest of the family to arrive.  Ben helped Tim and Kyle assemble Lyla's big surprise.

Bergeron Boys! (Photo-bombed by two Garys and a Dissly!)

By the end of our marathon gift-opening session (17 people!), Ben was both enthusiastic and intense about helping us open things.

Uncle Dave is totally closing in on "favorite uncle," giving Ben lots of sweets and treats!

We had a wonderful time celebrating with so many loved ones.  Of course, the highlight for us was the big gender-reveal.   It was so meaningful to have everyone around us share in our excitement. 

We left to drive home Christmas night (in the wind and snow and ice!) so Tim could be back for work, but we were so thankful to be able to make the trip and celebrate the season with family.