Meagan, the 400lb lady, and the curb

I'm going to try to turn a very long story into a short one.

Yesterday I was walking out of Hobby Lobby, and right as I walked through the first set of doors, a girl turns to me and (pointing outside) says, "should someone maybe help those people?" I looked up and saw a very old lady (probably about 120 lbs) trying to help another old lady (at least 400 lbs) get into a jeep. It wasn't a very successful effort.

The 400lb lady had been in a wheel chair, and the other lady was attempting to help her out of the wheelchair (which was sitting on the curb) into the jeep. The fat lady (I'm just going to say it) had one foot in the car, and the rest of her was suspended in the air. This poor other old lady was crumpling under the fat lady's weight, trying to keep her from falling out of the jeep and onto the curb.

So I RAN out of the store, dropping my bags, and grabbed the big lady. You must realize... I had to grab her butt. At this point, she had one foot in the car, she was holding onto the little handle up above the passenger door with one hand, and she was otherwise hanging there. This lady was HUGE and OLD, and if she were to fall, she would WITHOUT A DOUBT have hurt quite a few things.

I've heard people say that in emergency situations, your adrenaline kicks in and you find strength you wouldn't otherwise have had. I decided this was my moment. This lady needed my help and I was going to dig deep into the recesses of my being and find the strength to hoist her up into the seat.

I couldn't even get her to budge.

Skip to 30 seconds later. After multiple failed attempts at lifting her, I realized I couldn't lift her up, and I didn't even have the strength to ease her back down to the curb gently. If she let go of the handle, she would fall... HARD... and at that point, on top of me.

I was wedged between the curb, the 400 lb lady, and the jeep, trying to help. I am folding like an accordion. I am yelling at the other old lady (who is amazingly flustered) to PLEASE go into the store and get a MAN. ANY MAN WILL DO. HE DOESN'T HAVE TO WORK THERE. HE DOESN'T HAVE TO BE HANDSOME. ANY MAN HAS EVEN SLIGHTLY MORE UPPER BODY STRENGTH THAN I DO AND WILL WORK.

Now I'm going to get graphic, so if you are easily disgusted, just read ahead to the next paragraph. I'm trying to get UNDER this woman so I have some leverage to hoist her upwards. My hand is now in a VERY inopportune spot (I'm sure you can use your imagination) but it won't even stay there. I have my hands all over this fat lady's butt, trying to shove and pull and push her SOMEHOW up even a few inches, so that her butt will rest on the car seat. This isn't like lifting a normal person. There is no center to the weight. I can't even grab her. She is so big and round, my hands keep slipping up around her.

Before I know it, she is all but sitting on my knees (my arms have given out at this point) and I am bracing myself on the curb, sweating profusely, ready to start SCREAMING for help.

Finally, almost in slow motion, the assistant manager at Hobby Lobby (a long, gangly man) comes running to my rescue. He stops for a minute to figure out exactly what is going on (sure, my legs are feeling GREAT at this point... let's just sit and analyze the situation) and then we count to 3 and push.

Nothing.

Count to 3 and push.

Nothing.

I am ready to cry. On the third 3 count, we get her into the seat. As soon as her butt hits the seat, I turn and run to my car.

I just want to pretend that this never happened.

Today, my wrist hurts, my arms hurt, and I have now grabbed a stranger (not just any stranger, but a REALLY FAT OLD LADY) in places I never imagined. Needless to say, I feel slightly scarred.

Today I found out I'm getting a sizable scholarship to UNT next year. Not for any reason related to attempting to help the large woman into the jeep, but, nevertheless, my day is made.