A few months ago, I saw this:
I didn't really believe it. Then, I saw this
I was still in disbelief, but not quite such disbelief that I was above freaking out. I totally freaked out. If your doctor tells you that it will most likely take you between six and twelve months to get pregnant after getting off of birth control, you should look him straight in the face and call him out for the liar he is. I wish I had. I digress.
In light of the new evidence of this thing I still didn't believe, I had to come clean to my precious husband. Immediately. He got home from work, walked into the closet to change his clothes, and I broke the (unbelievable) news. It went like this.
After processing the news for a few minutes (and looking at TWO positive pregnancy tests), doubting Thomas decided he didn't believe it either. Which resulted in this:
Wow. I made another appointment to see the aforementioned liar (doctor) and he confirmed the still unbelievable news. If all goes as planned, I will hold my firstborn child in April. Wow.
I've attempted to digest this new piece of information over the last few months (between sleeping and vomiting), and I still haven't quite come to terms with all of it. Everyone insisted that once we had a sonogram, things would become much more real. Well, last week was our first appointment with the obstetrician. I filled out more paperwork than I did when I purchased my first car...
... and then they whisked us back into an exam room, squirted some cold, mystery gel all over my abdomen, and we saw this:
Unbelievable.
After the appointment, it took an orange cranberry muffin and a freshly squeezed glass of orange juice from Panera to snap be back into reality.
(Really, I just felt like I deserved a fresh muffin after being violated in so many different ways at that dang appointment). Again, I digress.
Perhaps it's not so much a matter of believing, as it is a matter of comprehending. I simply can't comprehend that there is a living, breathing, inch-long human being, (with functioning organs) alive and growing inside of me, right below that little bulge that has recently prevented me from buttoning my pants. How? How? How? Perhaps if it really were comprehensible, it wouldn't be a miracle.
Everyone says (the same "everyone" that assured me the sonogram would bring it all home) that once I feel this baby move for the first time, it will all become real.
Maybe.
Still, I don't believe it...
